Bored

time: 12:56pm

place: kitchen

Well I'm bored. It's not just today, its been almost everyday. I wake up, go to school, then come home and do my work. It's the most monotonous routine I have gotten myself into. I don't hate it though. It just means that I'm doing what I have to, to get out of here. I have lost many friends through this path, some I don't care that I have lost. Some, I regret that I don't have anymore. I've sat and reminisced about the good old days, when none of us had any responsibilities. Those days were great, but, it's time to move on. I'm left with one true friend, one that I feel is the best. We both have lost so much over the years, and its funny to see where things have gone. We've both decided that, wasting our time with people that aren't doing anything with their lives, is only bringing us down. They can't seem to see, the true reality of life, and are being swept away by the tides. They all want instant gratification without any true hard work. Many of them have no idea what they want to make out of their lives, so instead they sit and whither away. They blame others for their misfortune, and make excuses for their nonfeasance. They expect that everyone will feel bad for them so they don't have to hear the judgement.

I'm happy that I know what I want out of this life, and I will do anything to have it. I think that I have stepped on many people to get where I'm at and I'm not bothered by it. I don't want people to see it as I'm a bad person; I'm just fighting for what I want. I don't want to have a mediocre job, that I despise, and resent not trying for what I wanted. I know that not everything is easy, and they're a lot of hard times, but, what would be the worst out of trying. You can't be scared about what other people are going to say, then you might as well never leave your house. I mean not everybody is going to like you and you need to get over that. I'm sick of other people telling me that what I want is futile, they're just jealous that they've gave up on their dream. I've heard a lot of people say, they have so many regrets in life, and I don't want that to be me. I've had a lot of shitty stuff happen, but, I'm not going to let it stop me. I don't want to live a life of regret. I will only see the things that I decide to do, as the things that will make me who I am.
I'm glad that I took the time off from school, even if it meant I did absolutely nothing with my time, it still opened my eyes to exactly what I didn't want. I don't want to end up like any of my friends and that's why I'm down to one. Only one friend makes me want to get up in the morning. Only one friend lets me know that what I'm doing isn't futile. Only one friend, I can say, I look up too. It's funny that I do because she's younger than I am, but, who says youth doesn't have it's wisdom.

To the friends I have lost, I apologize, I never meant for it to go down that way, something had to give. I can't be your friend if your only going to drown me. To the ones that still are slightly around, please wake up, your only hurting yourself. It's what Tyra said: " When you go to bed at night, you lay there and you take responsibility for yourself, because nobody is going to take responsibility for you!"


"Learn some thing from this!" Tyra's angry face!