Its turkey day :(

It's sad to think about all the turkeys that died for this pathetic holiday. We all celebrate this holiday which marked the beginning of the rape and massacre of the Native American people. We gave them all kinds of diseases and stole all of their land. Plus, we all sit around a table with family members that we don't particularly like and pretend to be family. I'm just sick of the pathetic attempt at trying to seem happy. Our entire society is absolutely pathetic when it comes to holidays, none of them really amount or mean a damn thing. I'm so sour. I remember when Christine told me, "it's OK, we get along because we're both really acrid about life!" It's still so true, I'm still disgustingly bitter. I wish I wasn't some times, I feel like I would be such a nicer person or I would feel better if I was, but I will always be bitter!!!!!

Bonk Thanksgiving!

It's really early in the morning!

OK, so, it's really late and I have nothing else better to be doing. I should be reading the novel for class but I can't seem to wrap my mind around it right now. Also, I could be attempting to construct some kind of idea on how I'm going to write my Sci-Fi paper. It's another one of her mundane writing assignments. At first when she said she was giving a writing assignment I thought, yay, write a creative Sci-Fi story. Of course, I was wrong!! She gave three different questions to be answered based on the short stories we've read. I was slightly disheartened because I was really looking forward to writing some creative Sci-Fi horror stories. The same reaction came from the other people in my class. We all thought we would be at least writing one creative story. Anyway, it's a generic essay question type shit so that she knows people are at least reading or at least, the shit she's assigning is worth something. It's quite bonk! Before this, M and I were drinking and she got so drunk that she said she couldn't see! It was hilarious and a little bit scary at the same time.

I remember those days when she and I would hang out at different movie theaters in the area. We would sneak into see a movie and then hang around and smoke cigarettes. True, C was with us too, we were the movie trio! Those were some good times. Who would have thought that we would still be friends to this day, I sure didn't! Even though C went away to college, I didn't really mind much, we had drifted away after that whole movie thing anyway. It's so weird some times when you think about things in the past. Some times you think, whoa, that was such a long time ago, and other times you say I remember that like it was yesterday. Things are just so weird, is this what life is... just going through the motions and making sure you have a roof over your head and money in your pocket? I don't want to say that that's all it is but... I can't help but feel like it is. School, work, drink a little with friends and that's all life is just..........................

I can't finish that sentence yet

Too much to work for...

There are far too many expectations where I work. I don't nearly get paid as much as I should for the work I'm expected to do. It's the same for the other associates that I work with, it's quite ridiculous now! It might even get to the point where they expect you to lick the customers ass if they ask for it. Ewwww... gross! I just had a mental imagine, ugh!!!!!!!! Anyway, I just had a store meeting and it's become quite ridiculous now what they expect from you. That you have to tell everyone your name when your already wearing a name badge?! Also, we have to ask them their name when we're telling them about the promotions in the store. Then, at the register we have to do all the normal stuff like ask for a credit card and who helped them on the floor, but now, we must give them information about the VIP celebrations and walk around the counter and hand them the bag!! It's become quite out of hand. I'm sick of it! I wouldn't be surprised if I had to now walk the purchases out to their car or lick their face because they opened a credit card!

I just don't get paid enough for this crap!!!!!

So much

So much has changed even in the last six months!!! Everyone has been on their paths to their future, if that makes sense. Everyone is so preoccupied on their careers that there hasn't been time for friends. Life is difficult, some of us are working two jobs just to be able to live on our own. I mean, I never see my R anymore or as much as I would like. L, well she is just completely bonk at this point I don't even know what to say about her situation. I get it you want to cover your perception with anything you can so that you don't have to face your life. Let me rephrase that... she does all these pointless activities so that she doesn't have to face responsibility. I don't want to diminish anyone even I still feel like all is lost. M makes me want to cry sometimes. She is so confused. She takes everything to heart way to much. Like everyone's pain is her own and I don't know why she gets so worked up about some things. I feel for her I really do. I love that girl so much and it hurts to see her in such pain!

Everything has definitely changed!!!

What happened to veggin in L's basement when she lived down there, those were definitely some times! I never would have thought things would have come to this. We can't go back, we can't go back at all!!! Wow, Franklin by Paramore is perfect for what I'm feeling right now way for Pandora to know! It's just really weird to see how much things have changed in such little time. Another year has gone already, and I'm sitting here saying, "wow, were did it go??"

Things are weird

I recently messed up my knee, and its rather hard for me walk. I have had way too much time to think about my life. I'm so close... so close to finishing Nassau and I couldn't be more excited. I'm slightly terrified too, I guess. I don't know what school I'm going to go to. I know I don't want to go to a school around here because I want to get out while I have the chance. This is the opportune moment for me to expand and start a different chapter in my life. I know staying around Long Island is more realistic, but I don't want to be stuck here like everyone else that stayed in a local school. They finish school, then they find a mediocre job that just barely gets them out of their parents house, after three years of working. Plus, I don't want to live here... it's so cold here (not the weather) the environment and the people. I think everyone that lives here is miserable they didn't get out or resentful of the fact that they got pulled back.

I'm feeling the extreme flip-floppy thing! What am I going to do? Stay at a local school... or run, run as far as I can!!!!

This is gong to be the biggest decision I have ever made so I'm scarred! :/

I don't know which decision will be best, and when I choose, I don't want to regret it!!!!!!