Why do we feel we should please others?

time: 1:55pm

place: comp


I have been wondering this question for a while. It seems to loom over every comment I make to someone else. Why? Why do we do this? Is it simply because we like to make life harder for ourselves or do we do it because we love someone that much? Many times I have answered yes to someone, when I knew that I didn't want to do it. When the outcome reveals itself that person is happy, but you feel miserable. I do it time and time again wondering when will I just give up. I have done some pretty pathetic things for people to like me at times. Most of it was never genuine. They loved the results of it though, but you know that it isn't true. Why do we try so hard to make others happy? Why do we sacrifice our own happiness when you know the outcome isn't what your gonna want? I guess it would be simply because you care enough about the other person to give that up. What I'm asking is when would that person ever do that for me? The thing is they never will because you constantly let yourself be used. So time and time again they will ask so much from you and give nothing in return.
I've began to say no or do what I want and people get mad. Yes, Yes, I feel miserable. I don't have friends that do that for me. They don't go out of their way to make me happy. I know the people that would be reading this would think that I'm out of my mind. That I have never done anything to help them or make them happy and that's why I think they're selfish. I used to give so much of my energy over to them to the point where I have nothing left to give anymore. They've taken all my energy, they asked too much of me. So now that I have finally started doing things for myself, I seem selfish. I have always lent an ear, given a shoulder, but never was there a return.(This doesn't count for sparkle shirt woman. Only for you do I give all of me. Because you give all of you in return.)
I remember a time when one of my friends was in a self damaging situation. She was on the corner of a certain town, screaming at someone who had broken her heart. I was the person that couldn't let her destroy herself. I tried to tell her to let it go, not here, you say things you don't mean when your angry. Though much of the effort was pointless I still tried to help her because I cared about her feelings. At that time in my life, I would do anything for those friends, they made me feel like I wasn't worthless. Yes, I did try too hard to make them like me, I didn't want anyone to dislike me. Many of them helped me become who I am and for that I will always love them for. At this point, This point in life they no longer make me feel like I belong. I've grown up and realized that life wasn't just about partying and getting laid. I guess, for that, I look skewed. I guess maybe I never did have friends that cared about me except, a couple.

I given so much of myself... and for that, I'm sorry. I should have never thought that any of you would care about my feelings or if I was OK.

I guess, when you tell me that I will never love then I guess you don't know what it is. I cared way too much about all of you and never did I feel that from you. Ya, the fake "Oh, Mikey, I love you." never was it true. I was always there to help you in anyway, whether it be dumb or not, I was. So when someone tells you that you will never have rights, that marriage is between a man and a wife, then you truly realize, they never really cared about you. I wont settle for someone that only takes from me, if I wanted that I would be friends with a sponge.(Yes, I said it.)

Much LOVE to sparkle shirt woman, you'll always be a great friend.