Whitney Houston - I Wanna Dance With Somebody

I love you... and this song always puts me in a good mood!

Wow, once again!

I keep steering so far away from writing. I'm not inspired to write anymore because I'm so worn out from all the bullshit around me. I have a horrible job that doesn't pay me well enough, a school that I can't stand going to anymore, and a quixotic obsession with trying to get to Portland, Oregon. People are really fucking stupid! (Oh my god, someones name is clit) I need to stay in a hotel for a few days and just write. I think locking myself away for a while in a hotel, writing, would be good for my sanity. I think it would be really liberating. I need to just finish Nassau, take some time to write and collect the necessary credentials for getting the hell off this Island. (People are wrestling in horseshit!! WTF!) I can't wait, I can't wait! Oh shit, I have to finish my work for this bullshit class that is teaching me nothing, bye!

Distracted By Golden Girls

I'm concerned with expressing my opinion in class. I feel like I'll just be mean or bossy when I'm rebutting someones answer. Its weird how I can never truly concentrate on thoughts or things when it's night time. I think I'm all concentrated out from school in the day. I'm using my brain at school trying to make cogent comments and articulating my view upon a issue. When it comes to ten o'clock at night I'm just spent and want to have my cocktail and watch Golden Girls.

On the fence

I've become extremely ambivalent in the past few weeks. I'm deciding on whether I should quit my job or stay and stick it out. I had such a good day at work yesterday. Well it was a really long day, eight hours are ridiculous but it wasn't horrible. I didn't want to kill myself or others. Another ambivalent decision that I've ran into is if I'm really going to go to Portland. There is always those probing questions: Have you ever been there? Do you know anyone there? Well no, I don't, but that is the point of going there to get the hell out of here. I think that people want to say these things because they're either jealous or envious or they really do want to know those pivotal questions.

Ambivalence is irritating, but I don't want to make the wrong decision. I guess that's just it, I have to weigh the options, make decisions, Oh and be prepared for the outcomes.

Yet another one

There is yet another storm tonight. I like to hear the cracking of the thunder its amazing how it can make that sound. A storm on my birthday and a storm on my friends birthday, hmm... coincidence, I think not!!!

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

What Should I Do?

I want to quit my job. I wanted so badly to take my name tag off and walk out the door on Sunday. I'm getting fed up with flaccid old ladies treating you like your less than they are and they're the ones out spending their husbands money. Hey bitch! At least I'm actually working for what I spend. Oh but then again, I don't spend money nearly as much as these women do because I get paid like a donkey's excrement. I've put a applications in two or three places but I'm not avid enough to really go and put forth the effort. I think that I'll really start doing it aggressively when I finally tell my manager that I'm quitting in two weeks. I need to at least wait till I hear about something before I do that but I don't know how much longer I can deal with this job.

Any how, school absolutely blows this semester. I'm over it already. I need to get out of that horrible school it's making me die inside. Portland in a year is where I need to be. JUST A YEAR!!!

Another Depressing Day

Yet again it was another horrible day at work. It seems like day by day I despise the job a little more. Retail isn't worth the crap money that they pay. The customers treat you like crap and the company usually expects more than what the money is worth. Also, it seems to me that many of these retailers don't have good work incentives. Usually a good incentive is when you sell a certain amount of items you should get a monetary bonus. See now when my company says they have incentives they give you a company pen when you sell a certain amount. That is a horrible, horrible bonus or incentive. To get a cheap pen that has their name plastered on the side of it is absolutely ridiculous.

I heard some rather disturbing yet hilarious news when I was at work. Apparently one day, one of my associate was walking into the fitting room to put away clothes that of course these women never buy and she walked into the nearest room. She saw that one of the customers had left all her clothes piled on the bench with the hangers all over the place. A pair of black slacks were precariously placed in the corner of the room. She lifted the pants and there laying in the corner was a large pile of feces. I can't believe that someone had the audacity to defecate in the fitting room. That is just one of the myriad crazy things that go down at my job and you see why the money isn't worth it!

The Summer Is Almost At An End!

It's August eleventh, and I don't know where the summer has gone. What's even more appalling is that I can't say that I really accomplished anything. Yes, I've read four books this summer, but I've done nothing but drink almost everyday. It's a little depressing. I've become such an alcoholic. I haven't accomplished any of the things I said I was going to do this summer and I'm not surprised. I have the most lazy, self-loathing friends out of anybody. I knew that I wasn't going to accomplish anything; and yet, I'm still upset about it.

Anyway, I'm slightly excited about going back to school. That is utterly the most scary and perplexing thing that I've ever felt. never in my life have I ever said that I wanted to go back to school. CRAZY... ABSOLUTELY CRAZY!!!!