Where am I?

I always completely forget about this blog. This started when I had to create this blog for a composition class. I'm surprised that I even kept using this thing. I'm just baked and remembered that I had this thing. Thoughts... thoughts... thoughts... thought. "Porsche reads the papers." haha.

What to talk about? I find it difficult to write anything about myself when I'm not in distress. I don't have anything to complain about. For once in my life I can actually say life is good. I'm living in Oregon by myself, and doing fine in school. I do need a job soon. I need to start paying for some of my rent because I should. Plus, having a job here will make it feel more like home. I can't wait to move out of this building though. People here are nice and it's my first home here in Oregon, but I don't feel like I should be living here. They're really over priced for what I could find right out in beaverton. Plus, there is so many more things in Beaverton anyway. So, it'll be fun to more in with my friend out in Beaverton. I just wish it would happen sooner. Hey, at least it's happening at all. Hmm... I really should go food shopping, really just for the toiletries. I wish the convenience store down the block carried more toiletries. That would be too easy now wouldn't it. Oh, someone robbed the bank down the street yesterday. There was a helicopter constantly flying about my building, so I got curious as to why. They found him hours later anyway. I don't know why people bother to rob banks anymore, no one ever gets away with it. Whoa. Only three more weeks of classes. This semester went insanely quick. Whomever invented trimesters, definitely didn't want to be in class for very long.

A lot of things

It has been a while once again. So much has happened since July. A lot of things constantly happen here and that's one of the main reasons why I wanted to move so bad. After living here for six months, I can honestly say, I have made the best decision of my life so far. I feel alive now and ironically, my back hasn't given nearly as much grief since I've moved here. It would be nice to finally have a car here because it would make it easier to get out into the country or the beach. Plus, I'd be able to get a job. Besides that, driving out in the country is amazing anyway, so it would be nice to drive out there every once and a while. My classes this semester are a bit of a joke. At least I can breath a little better this semester.

Back again

I'm back in Portland after a month in New York. I think this is where I need to be. The only thing I miss about New York is that I had friends there. I had those friends for quite sometime because we grew up together. I just need to make friends here and I'll feel right at home. I made one, but who knows if she is really a friend or just wanted to be a school acquaintance. I have some potential friends from a website. Eeek. A website. Yeah, I became one of those. If I want gay friends I'm going to have to buck up and get with the decade. I moved across the country and everyone thought I was crazy... let's go the extra mile and really surprise myself. I need my car, so I won't feel so stagnant. Plus, it's summer and I hate going anywhere in the summer, especially if I have to walk. Fuck, the oxidation on the car. You don't have to get it painted. I think that my mother secretly withheld the car so that I won"t be able to be adventurous. I bet, she thinks, that if I have my car I will never come back to New York. I hopefully plan on that being the case. She has my other two brothers, let it go. Why are all the gay bars in Guam, here? Well, they were in Guam on Long Island too because it's long island and they hate gays there. Well, It's been a few days of what will be the next five months here. It'll get better when it's no longer the summer. I hate the summer! There is no air conditioning in this building either, what is up with that? Alright, I have complained enough for today.

A while

A lot happens in three months. I have moved to Portland, Oregon and at first I was apprehensive about it. I didn't know how to feel about it, it was quite the change. I was back and forth in my mind... wondering if it was right for me and only until I came back to Long Island, did I realize how much I enjoyed it. I want to go back so bad. I'm here on Long Island for a month, so before I know it, I will be going back. I attend Portland State to get my BA in English Literature and I really like the school. It is very urban and has a city feel with a very relaxed, pointer and middle finger spread mentality to it. I would say it's one of the cleanest cities I've been to, but that's not saying much, since I'm from New York. At first I didn't think it was for me, but since I've had time away from it, I've realized how much I feel alive in Oregon. I hate how Long Island makes me feel. How self conscious I get from being around these narrow minded bigots. I can't wait to return to you Portland, you're so welcoming and invigorating.

Oh wow, it's February! Seriously, where did the time go? I have about a month until I move to Oregon. I'm still absolutely terrified, but I know once I get there, everything will fall into place. I can't wait to get out of here. I've always wanted to leave this place and now, it's right around the corner. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait! I never want to come back to this place!

I don't know what life has in store for me; I just don't, but isn't that the point? We should all live like it's the last day of our lives and I'm going to try and do that more often. If you're feeling like crap, try to turn it into hope. If you don't like where you're living take the steps to move to a different place. Who knows!

Meh, Christmas Eve

I hate these pathetic family get togethers. What's really funny is that I'm writing this while sitting at the table... Ha! It's sad what's the point anymore. What's really weird is that my own friends and my brothers boyfriend is more of a loving family than my own. Thank the spirits for Jack Daniels!!!!!